Can ex’s be friends?

Can ex’s be friends? is a very common question that I think most people will eventually ask at some point in their life and if I am telling the truth, I wish I knew the answer.

I bring this up because I have agreed to go to the cinema with Kieran tomorrow who happens to be an ex boyfriend. And in my head, this can go one of three ways;

  1. It feels completely wrong, we have nothing to talk about and have to endure a movie whilst both of us can think of nothing else but the fact that I ended the relationship and potentially made him miserable
  2. We have a great time but it ends in one of us regaining feelings for the other only to be reminded that we have been down this road before and the ending wasn’t very pleasant which may end in even more misery
  3. We successfully overcome any awkwardness caused by our extensive history, love to movie and part ways as being good, solid friends

Personally, I am a fan of option 3 because the ending is happy, I get to enjoy a good movie and I gain a friend (which is an obvious bonus for a very anti-social person like me!).

But I can’t help but imagine all the ways that this could go wrong and that is without adding my phobia into the mix! But then again, it is human nature to evaluate all the possible if not probable outcomes that may happen if you were to take a risk, purely based on the intent to survive. However, in this case, there really is no threat to my life so I will keep you posted as events unfold!

Stay hopeful!

Update:

In my opinion, ex’s cannot be friends.

This is because, after my attempt, I think that there is too much history because through my entire outing, Kieran kept bringing up the fact that we used to date! Also, he kept making up excuses to touch me and I don’t know whether that is a sign that he wants to get back together but we had agreed that our friendship was going to be entirely platonic. And our trip certainly felt anything but platonic.

But I am making this conclusion purely based on personal experiences and it must be expected that other people have had different results but for now, I believe that once you have dated, it is really hard to be friends!

 

Fears and promises

Now that I have spent many hours solely in my bedroom, I don’t want to leave! My bedroom is safe and comfortable and I am finding myself reluctant to give it up. To anyone who doesn’t know, I have a huge phobia of throwing up which has expanded to being afraid of illness in general. And in my head, the further I am away from home, the more likely it is that I will get ill but recently I have made a promise to myself that my phobia will not control the choices that I make which is why (in 2 minutes time) I am going to Costa to have coffee with a friend.

I am a psychology student and I have studied phobias, what they are, where they come from and I understand that nearly every single person has them so I know full well that I am not alone.

Update:

Coffee was great and stress free which I guess I always knew it would be but still, I don’t control what I feel! I also did some ironing which is surprisingly relaxing so that was an unexpected bonus to my otherwise regular afternoon

Stay fearless!

To move or not to move

I have a very difficult decision to make which could cost me dearly later in life if I choose wrong; which college do I choose in order to pursue my ambition of completing my A-levels! The decision is between SJD or HCCS.

Both are valid candidates.

Both have a lot to offer in their own respects as very different colleges.

On the one hand, SJD would be a small step on the way to leaving home to go to University as it would be a completely new school and I would hardly know anyone. I would need to leave the house at 7:35am in order to get to the bus stop which then entails a 45 minute bus journey to school. Teachers seem nice however all the teachers are refered to by their first name; weird! And I hear the students can be described as sluts (that is sugar-coating it) so not my type of people to put it lightly.

HCCS is where I have been for five years. It is a 10 minute walk from home meaning I only need to leave home at 8:20am. I know nearly everyone and most know me. Its safe. Its comfortable. There will be a few new joiners (chance to re-define my friendship group, YAY!). The lessons are good and the same A-levels are offered at colleges.

To be honest, there isn’t a paramount downside to remaining at HCCS whereas SJD does have its cons.

Am I ready to leave HCCS??

Update:

I have chosen to stay at HCCS purely based on the fact that there is no down side! If I went to SJD there could potentially be negatives but by staying at HCCS, there are none so why would i do any different?!

A trip behind the gates of boredom

I finished my exams over a week ago and I am already running out of things to.

I have binged watched so many episodes of Awkward that I am starting to feel guilty about wasting time that could be spent doing more productive things like saving the world. Yes that is a little drastic but it is still two and a half weeks till we go to Tenerife (my dad, my grandma and I) and all of my friends already have plans becasue they are all packing for their holidays.

I haven’t left the house in TWO days and in those TWO days, I have done nothing with my life but sit around whilst everyone else around me makes something of theirs. Although now I am saying this, I now realise that I can’t complain becasue its my fault that I am being so lazy so if I want to “find light within my deep dark cave of despair” (my bedroom) then I would have to make it happen. And so I will.

A bloggers first

This is a very weird experience. Never blogged in my life. Not very sure what to say. So I’m just going to talk like I would to any normal person.

So there is this guy (lets face it, there always is), and he is your typical bad ass kid. Pierced ear. Smokes. Hot as. The whole lot. But he is nothing like me because I have never hooked up with anyone, ever and I go to church which says a lot about the type of person that I am. I mean I have had boyfriends in the past but nothing serious because the most that I have ever done is kiss (its sad, I know).

Anywho, sometimes this guy will talk to me and it can get flirty, not going to lie,  but he just sees me as an object because instead of wanting to get to know me, he just wants pictures and ignores me throughout the entire day!

But I am not one of those girls whose entire life revolves around guys because I am not. I am fairly happy being single but I have all of this love built up inside of me and no-one to give it to.

It’s infuriating!!